Ok so I said when I started this blog that I was never going to write awkward posts that bare my soul or throw myself pity parties, but I just need to get this off my chest, and Mark doesn’t understand when I whine to him about it, so blogging will do.
I’ve never had a super close-nit group of girlfriends, ever. I’ve always had like one or two really close friends but never a group of girls who all get along. As my high school friends graduate from college, they have such close friends/roommates, after graduation they take trips to Vegas together or something fun like that. I’ve never even been to Vegas! What’s wrong with me? Why have I never had a close group of friends like that? I love Mark and he is my best friend but it’s not the same. I mean don’t get me wrong, I have some wonderful friends who mean the world to me and I would never trade them for anything. But where’s my group of girls who have tons of pictures together, do everything together, have so much in common, spend every day together and take awesome trips?
I guess I’m just not that kind of friend? or don’t have those kinds of friends?
Is it going to be like this forever?
This weekend we went camping with some of our new couple friends, the Hibbards, Hulls, and Bairs. It was so much fun. We got a site in Teton canyon, literally right under the Tetons, it was beautiful. The river ran through the camp grounds.We spent lots of time talking around the campfire, hiking, having contests to see who could stand in the ice cold river longer and getting sun burnt (after layers upon layers of aloe, my near 3rd degree burns have turned into a nice tan :), oh, and we saw a Moose! Tara and I chased it! Mark and I had a great time and are so grateful for awesome friends.
When we got home yesterday we were completely whipped out! After doing laundry and showering we laid on the couch and couldn’t move. I felt so horrible. I honestly think I may have gotten a little case of heat stroke. I went to bed early. This morning we both woke up feeling just as exhausted. And to make things worse, its back to real life. I had to go back to work and Mark had to go back to school. Not that my job sucks or anything, don’t get me wrong, it’s a great job and my boss is wonderful but I would much rather take a lazy, mental health day. But I can’t…so I guess I’ll just be in this weird mood all day.
I know this is a little late and maybe a little cliche, and my dad doesn’t even read my blog but I wanted to write a little tribute to my dad for Father’s day.
When I was little my dad was my best friend. I got to spend all day with him on Saturdays while my mom worked. I would make him watch the Little Mermaid with me at least 3 times a day, I had every line memorized pretty much from the time I could talk. We use to put our arms around each other’s necks and sing “pals pals pals pals.” He taught me how to ride a two wheeler in an hour (I think that’s how the story goes.) I was daddy’s little girl.
But then the terrible teenage years hit and I didn’t think my dad knew anything. I became “too cool” to be his friend anymore and I threw away our relationship.
But here’s the happy ending…or beginning…after some college experience to shapen me up and make me a little wiser, I can now appreciate my dad and be friends with him again.
Thanks for being my strong and steady and for seeing my potential when I couldn’t. Thanks for pushing me to be better than I wanted to be. You have taught me how to be responsible and reliable. You have been my example of a righteous priesthood holder, and have set the bar high for my goals and standards.
I love you dad and I am grateful for you everyday.
Thank you for the lessons you have taught me, how to be loyal, how to love, how to be dependable, how to be honest.
The other night our friend Chris stopped by and some how we got on the topic of freshman year and how things came to be with me and Mark. We reminisced about star gazing with our friends and how I would always try to be next to Mark but then his girlfriend would call. Or how we went to the sand dunes ALL the time and that is where Mark and I first held hands after his roommate was trying to hit on me. We definitely had rough times where one of us or the other would decided we didn’t want to be together and then it would switch. We let each other down at times and hurt each other, there were other girls that I still give Mark crap for because secretly it really hurt me even though I acted so tough freshman year, acting like I really didn’t care about Mark and that I could get any guy I wanted… But through it all the memory that stands out the most is the butterflies I got every time I was around him. I didn’t know what it was but he was the first guy I was actually really nervous to hold hands with or kiss. I had never felt anything like that in high school.
As I look back through the past 4 years with Mark, there is so much joy, pain, sorrow, happiness, excitement, so much to move on from and so much to look forward to.
I now know what those butterflies were, a sign that this kid was one day going to be my husband.
“Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart, they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you”